Karaoke

It may excite some of you readers to know that this blog will only be a fraction as negative as my posts usually are.
I've discovered a wonder cure for boredom, depression, weight gain, and dignity... Yes, I'm talking about Karaoke. The sport we all love to belittle, simply because we don't know how to play. The reason karaoke has sucked hard balls up until now is because the San Francisco karaoke scene spends too much time goofing off and not enough time pretending it's American Idol Live. My friends, that is all about to change. If you have never had the opportunity to drink at the Mel-o-Dee Lounge in El Cerrito, grab your white pants and your red jacket, and get your ass on the train tonight.
I was lucky enough to be experiencing my first nervous breakdown yesterday, which happened to be a Thursday. Instead of band practice, Bob (my spiritual guru) suggested I come to El Cerrito for a drink... "You HAVE to get out of the house, you have to, you cannot sit in your room all by yourself tonight because it will make you suicidal". Good point, Bob.
And with that I found myself at Mel-o-Dee, also known as welcome back to 1970. Whoo!
First of all, this place is in a shopping plaza with a Trader Joes, so you know I'm not expecting what happens next. The bartender, Sandy, looks like a retired Tenille, the walls are red and white embroidered patterns like a disco lounge, the furniture is all leather seats and booths... need I say more? This place stepped right out of Boogie Nights, and in fact I felt a little like Roller Girl when I was pounding back $2 cran/vodkas because it was "ladies night" wink wink.
But I promised this was about Karaoke... by 8:00 the place was jumpin' and by 9:00 I was entered to sing in a "tournament". There was actually a moderator who read us the rules, my favorite one being: "No person may leave the room to hang out at the bar during the tournament. All participants are required to be present for each performance, and must fill out the scorecard." Well, well, well. Karaoke with rules, unbelievable. The performances were incredible, including my version of George Michael's Faith. I believe I opened up the number by adlibbing, "this song isn't talking about God people, it's about Sex", and ended the number wildly gyrating on the ground. Bob, of course, sang Captain and Tenille's Love Will Keep us Together. And the girl who won, Hattie, sang Tina Turner's Proud Mary in a tight tanktop that read Barleycorns. I'd have to say the most noteworthy part of this karaoke scene was variety, all different sizes, ages, races, and hotness levels were getting up there and showing the world what's what. You're not going to get that at Silver Clouds or The Mint. On the other hand, you're also not going get stuck sleeping at the Bart station because you were still crooning the Pina Colada song when the last train left.